30 rock

Watching the recent episode of 30 rock I was reminded of high school plays.  With almost no budget and no need for believability, we just recited plays and made some little entertainment for the town.  The sets just took up space on the stage and the lights pretty much made sure the scene wasn't dark.  If the performance wasn't sublime -- which it was -- at least there were 30 pairs of identical yellow Keds to occupy our parents and friends watching us squeak through The Visit.   I was reminded of this play in particular when 30 Rock took on the weighty -- ahem -- subject of golden shoes last week.  As a show that is produced and performed by adults who presumably make a full time wage from it, and one that is furthermore presented in HD where available, I was happy to see that painting shoes gold is enough to land a few jokes.  A pantomime about something funny is still funny even if the technologies of the props and the transmission are a little mismatched.  Using gold painted sneakers as golden shoes makes a bold statement too about the state of entertainment; all the attention being paid to how entertainment looks and sounds has little impact on whether it is entertaining.  i.e. The Hills.

yeah...

Please consider me for your contract advertised on craigslist. I can
travel easily and am an experienced lighting and photographing rooms
and events. I am a Photoshop and Aperture master, working very
efficiently and with deep understanding of both print and online
media. View my portrait and event work at http://www.flanabrand.com/folio

thanks for your consideration.

Recession busting doggystyle

Hi,
I'm writing to apply for the Sales Position in your pet business. My
unique life experience and love for puppies and kittens are well
suited to working in a high end pet placement service. In addition to
the excellent sales skills I developed in the bicycling industry, I
have experience selling unique and expensive artworks to international
luxury cruise passengers. I have experience with upscale clientele in
several fields and have a bottom line orientation and a sense of
service that connects exceedingly well with New York's prestigious
elite.

As you can see from my resumé, I have spent the past 4 years as a
professional saxophonist. I have been fortunate to play in world-
class ensembles, with which I traveled to more than 10 different
countries and saw some of the planet's most awe-inspiring natural
beauty. This has allowed me to interact with people of many nations
in professional situations, and develop humility and succinctness in
communication that is a huge asset to my work in high-end retailing.

I look forward to meeting the pets you have on offer, and to speaking
with you soon!

Cheers,
Michael Flanagan

TOTD: resume writing

remember: your resume isn't saying what you've done; it's showing that you understand what can be done!

Thanksgiving day

>
> Hi all, we're thinking of having people over at 1:30 for a wicked
> time. We're going to make cookies, ToFurky brand loaf product,
> fresh cranberry chutney, and haricots verts with boucles des
> shallots. The theme is Rachel Ray's gay veggie friend. So it's all
> about degree of difficulty and fiber content.
>
> If some people could bring a sweet potato and I guess stuffing, and
> any meats that you care for, we'd be thrilled. I guess we'll be
> home most of the day so whenever you want to stop by it's good
>
> We have some tapes and a couple CDs but bring your own 45s if you
> want to show us your stuff. --mike

Aveda Institute Haircut

For the amount of time I had to spend sitting in the overcrowded classroom, they should have paid ME $20. I had no idea how hard it is to cut hair until going to Aveda Institute. Do not go here for a haircut or coloring. The pack of Band-Aids sitting portentiously in the open drawer as I sat down, remembering the waiver I signed that said "I understand that I may incur injury at the Aveda Instittute and waive my right to sue in the event I am injured." The woman's unbelievable slowness -- which, as she jabbed herself with scissors and sliced her hands up, I came to thank for my own lack of bloodletting. They are slow and do a bad job cutting and coloring hair in our opinion, and it's not that cheap. How many times could she spray me with water, or how many times could she comb-comb-clip some spot of hair on my head? Does she know that the strange knife she's using on my kneck is really hurting? did they tell her to use this bread-knife of a thing on a man's KNECK? I remembered a female friend being stuck there for 4 hours one day getting a color job. The teacher who comes over and checks on the kids moves with efficiency and confidence around your head and makes you envy your former self: he who went to some other place to get his hair cut by a normal person whose job it is to cut hair. Do not waste your time at this place, it's a complete racket they are running. To collect money for this ridiculously unprofessional service is perhaps the worst deal I've ever encountered. You can go to a local salon who's training a new person and pay $5-$10 for a trainee haircut by someone with a license and insurance. Boys: let your hair grow an extra week and go pay someone else $30 for a haircut if you must, but you will be seriously bored and confused -- and possibly frightened -- by this sham

Free Coffee policy, an interlude brought to you by MDunemployment.com

Free coffee at Starbucks? Just what we need!
caffeine and voters, electorate on speed.

Come in for a coffee, say "I voted, barista girl"
Tall cup in your hand, cream, sugar and swirl.

It's good for the country, to give out a cuppa?
While fair on the surface, a free pick me upper,

I'd say that it's biased, it's really unfair;
"Candidate supported?" Starbucks seems to care

McCain lovin' people, free handouts helps greatly:
Their pockets are empty; they're unemployed lately.

The rest of us, though, the coffee helps less so
We eat arugula, and Obamans drink espresso.

--flanabrandbooks.com