Winnie the Poohderonomy
In Shreveport there is a large space devoted to retail that includes more of the big chain stores and restaurants than I’ve ever seen together. I guess that mall along I87 near New York city probably has more, because this space in Louisiana lacks a Restoration Hardware (notably absent in New Orleans as well I’m told) and a Cheescake Factory (I love their tiramisu ice cream and Caesar dressing! (together)). There are 3 Starbides within sight of one another. One each hides inside a Barnes And Noble (I love their Newsweek and moleskine lined 5 x 7 journal with elastic closure (classy)) and Super Target (I love their Durabilt 15-in-one-easy-screw and rope lights), while the mother hen clucks contentedly on the other side of the parking lot, dispatching driven-thru customers to spread the word. One of the few non-chain stores is a Christian supply store complete with a tomato and cucumber talisman outside that tried to hug me as I walked by. Humans dressed as Salad on Saturdays…the messiah dressed as human on Sundays! There is a Relax the Back store in case you are phenomenally overweight and poor and feel you can feign interest (and financial solvency enough to buy) a massaging chair, and would like to unwind after carrying that Suncraft DVD/WMA player and 27 inch Cyberwham HD TV to your truck. What’s the warranty on this?
As our Clarion hotel is apparently sinking (we are next to something that used to be called a Bayou (that crab grass is deeper than it looks) and is now called Setterly Winds Estates Custom Homes) in solidarity with it’s stricken sisters down the river, I’m taking it upon myself to level the doorjams on the 5th floor so that our door will close with a whisper instead of a scream. Thankfully, you can buy cumalongs and hydraulic jacks at no less than 5 stores down the road, because this hotel looks like a heavy one.
To wit, we are in the true south now, and I was informed of this off handedly by the guy in Best Buy who directed me to the “tall black guy by the computers,” for help finding a screwdriver. I actually thought he said “tall white guy” at first, which I don’t understand. I’ve heard some other insensitive descriptions of each other recently, but I can’t remember them. I can’t wait to hear the reaction to Tracy’s integrating the TV show in the play we are doing tonight. I’m expecting a large round of applause for the George Bush joke (thank you ‘cane), and a referendum on “this will just encourage them to steal more Tvs” as the blue hairs exit to their southern homes and ponder that the show is now integrated. This is just a joke, but is also why I don’t tell a lot of people about this site.
As our Clarion hotel is apparently sinking (we are next to something that used to be called a Bayou (that crab grass is deeper than it looks) and is now called Setterly Winds Estates Custom Homes) in solidarity with it’s stricken sisters down the river, I’m taking it upon myself to level the doorjams on the 5th floor so that our door will close with a whisper instead of a scream. Thankfully, you can buy cumalongs and hydraulic jacks at no less than 5 stores down the road, because this hotel looks like a heavy one.
To wit, we are in the true south now, and I was informed of this off handedly by the guy in Best Buy who directed me to the “tall black guy by the computers,” for help finding a screwdriver. I actually thought he said “tall white guy” at first, which I don’t understand. I’ve heard some other insensitive descriptions of each other recently, but I can’t remember them. I can’t wait to hear the reaction to Tracy’s integrating the TV show in the play we are doing tonight. I’m expecting a large round of applause for the George Bush joke (thank you ‘cane), and a referendum on “this will just encourage them to steal more Tvs” as the blue hairs exit to their southern homes and ponder that the show is now integrated. This is just a joke, but is also why I don’t tell a lot of people about this site.
posted by Michael Flanagan at 12:37 PM
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