Slip Sliding Jon Benet

I’m dangerous with the remote. Would you believe that I was up until 3am watching a MSNBC documentary about prisons?

I thought that Kentucky would provide only the lowest level of irony and very little hilarity, amounting to the fact that Starbucks was the only place in town that sells internet and is also the only place in town you can get free internet from the conference center across the street. Not much to go on there, and wordy. But yesterday, I ambled into a sign in the hotel lobby that would prick up the ears on the most recently-neutered Doberman: “KY Festival: Beauty Pageant Dressing 10 and under.” Now that the Feds are reading, let me just say that this is a joke and I’ve never been to Thailand.

So there’s a youth beauty pageant going on, what could possibly be amusing about walking around the lobby with dozens of sparkling bundles of joy, male and female (okay, now Interpol is reading). There’s quite a bit of screeching at all junctions, and many have decorated their hotel doors with shivanic photos of the contestants dancing and showing mutually detestable hairstyles. I can’t wait for the retaliatory graffiti over the winner’s monuments tonight after the final judgement. The boys look really stupid in tuxedos.