The Empire Strikes in the Back

By the time we discovered that all the luggage didn't fit in the two
buses someone provided for us at some airport in China we were pretty
tired. A few hours later, wanting to explore the improbably neonic
pedestrian mall a block from our hotel, we were surprised that it
becomes an a la carte brothel and weirdo festival at 11pm, like HBO
monday nights. And they shut the neon off.

Spending two hours in Korea may be enough as they have conveniently
condensed the authentic experience of the country into a 20 minute
arts and crafts project you can complete at the airport, in a booth
marked "Authentic Korean Cultural Experience." So that's easy
enough. There's a Carribou Coffee there, which anyone will tell you
is excellent (though most will do this without having been there).

When you actually travel to Asia, your body stops eliminating waste
for a few days, which is uncomfortable but makes the flights that much
easier; you can stay seated for 14 hours and make no mess in your
pants. The flight attendants on Korean Airlines are a sight to behold
and are a true contrast to the nasty bitches I've found employed by
the larger of our US carriers. In typical Asian fashion they are
modest beyond reason and show no emotion when wrenching your seat into
full upright position so the person behind you can devour their
bibimbap with head thrust into bowl as would a spaniel.

Check flickr for our unduly descriptive photos of this wonderful place.